I forget when is that day, but if im not mistaken it was tuesday, i came home and my mom told me my uncle called to my house to talk about something regarding a house propety, then he told my mom that my grandma is kind of weird these days, the weird is not insane but sounds not healthy
well, our big family have alots of problems, it is complecated, and i do not know how to express it by words. I din't stay with my grandma for a few years, but i stay with her for long long time when i was young. These few years she was moving to life with my aunty near midvalley. The problem raise since long long time ago, even when we are staying together last time, but may be i was still young so i din't realize what is happeing around the adult's world.
In my memory, during the SARS period, my dad came back from China, of course he have to come back every time when we are having school holiday in Malaysia, I remember that day when we came home from KLIA, my dad first step in my house, and greet my grandma, after my dad turn around to bath, she was rushing inside the kitchen, you know what she did? she eat garlic, ( during SARS period, people are saying garlic might save you from SARS) a mother do this to his son, how my dad feel? alright, this is just one of the cases.
the second thing is, when my mom born my youngest sister, my dad was in China, and after daddy know my mom was in the hospital, he want to come back. you know what grandma said? she said no, you don't need to come back, because the airticket is expensive and the factory can't stay like that without a person looking for it, ( last time my dad was working in my aunty factory as "manager" ) before my dad when to China to help my aunt, thye promise us alot of things, when you working oversea for sure the salary is a lot, and there are a lot of benifit isn't it. my dad dicided to go overseas because he wanted to give us a better life.. But what i realize after my dad went there, everything is different! totally different! so call promises are just blank promises. Last time, I am just a kid, and im not use to internet yet. I have no computers to use, even there are, i am not dare to touch it, because we life with my grandma and aunt. those situation is bad, totally bad! my mom wish to keep in touch with my dad, of course they have to ! but we can't call my dad, my aunt was warn my dad, do not simply use the phone, bill is expensive. so, my mom wrote letter to my dad. sounds pity rite! yes it is, now i think back the situation, i feel bad enough!i am asking myself again and again, why daddy want to leave us here, i better went back to perak, i prefer the life we stay together rather than stay in KL like this. i doesn't remember how my family overcome this kind of situation.
another case, when my grandpa still alive, and he is sick heavily in ICU, doctor already tell us, is the time.. my dad want to come back to look at him, but my aunt said no need, i want to go back, so you stay here look after the factory, my grandma din't say anything on her daughter. so end up, my dad unable to see my granpa for the last time.
my mom was stress out when we still love with my aunt and grandma, she wrote dairy, and i get a chance to see the dairy, with full with my tears. sorry mom, i read it! and i know everything. my mom is a tough woman in my eyes, but every person have their own weak side which never show out to the others, especially my mom, if she did show us, i can't imagine how my brother and sister feel. she get alot of things from my grandma when staying together. is really a lot, i thought this will just happen when we watching Hong Kong drama, but it is really happen in real life.
seriously, if now you ask me to think what had happen before, i was almost forget, there was a button in my mind, it will delete all the unhappy things happen in mylife. I had argue with my grandma once. It is totally make me angry. Well, what i said here may be others will think that it was my parent's or mine fault, but i just can't take this anymore. year 2007, new year, during 2006 year end i was in Taiwan, so im not able to go China, so, we went there again during 2007 Chinese New Year. that day was new year eve, i was sticking those red papers in my dad office, and my dad's handphone rang. my grandma called.
she ask my dad, granny: why you treat me like this!
dad: what? what are you talking about?
granny: why are you not allowed me to go into my house!
dad: what ??? ( my dad was blur, and don't know what happen)
granny: i am now infront of the house but the lock was change! why you all change it ! and do not give me the key!" ( that year she already move out, and once again, i din't change the lock, the lock which change i already told her where she can get the key!) my dad pass the phone for me,
granny: why you don't let me in! ( again, i can't get it!)
me: huh! what are you talking about? the gate's key i already told you i put at where! and why are you saying you coundn't get in!
granny: im now inside the gate but i cant get into the house , ( there is a door before enter my house)
me': why not?( i was controlling myself from burning!)
granny: you ask your mom why don't let me in!
what the hell!!!! my mom don't let you in!!!!???? i am the one who close the door before i left!
me: hey! what do you mean by my mom do't let you in! I am the one who lock the door! what to do with my mom!!!! ( im started to shout loud, i can't tahan when a person say something never happen, and i never done it! please do not step on me!)
[my parents do not shout or argue with my granny before, this is why my granny like to "bully" them, but im not that easy for anyone who step on me, when i never did it, i will fight it back for myself, my aunt and my granny will non-stop shooting, if i want to fight back i should also non stop talking, do not bother they heard anot, but do not give a chance for them to shoot you if you din't do anything wrong]
she: but now i caan't get in. why do you all want to do this on me .....bla bla
(im not giving a chance for her to bla)
me: i never change the lock that you said now! please look carefully! it is the old old lock, how many years you all used it to lock the door you don't know! now you said it was new! hey ! look and find the key probably!!! i am the one who lock it, it is nothing to do with my mom, why are you want to say something like that?! i never do that on you! ( i am getting angry and angry, the first time i experince when people are scolding, blood presure will went up and i felt dizzy)
my chinese new year for that year is bad enough
she never have a chance to speack and hang up my called during im talking!
after a few minutes, i called back,
me: hello, did you found the key!
(my aunt was with her!!! OMG, you can't help your mom to see where is the key and don't you live in that house for thousand years! you don't know the lock is old one! when your mom called and scold you don't stop her ? you cant find it yourself instead of calling here and scold my parents!?)
[#@#$#%^&^@$@#%*^$%&^ WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!... now you found the key and said nothing happen!!!!!!!!!]
me: did i change anything on your house now!? why just now scold me like that, why don't you check it probably before you call!!!!!!!!
granny: then, what you want me to do! want to apologize to you? you want me to banddown?
me: but why you scold me badly just now!!!
(if i was in KL, i am really want to heard the apologize lo, but too bad, i am not there and i have no power to ask for anything!)
i was crying when calling, the tears is droping, i was standing bside my dad table , if not i will difenetly fainted.. i feel it. my parents was watching at me . I din't pass the line to them, if i did, they will kena again.i was hang up the phone. this is the first time i argue with granny. i totally boom with her, after that i never talk with her..
by the way, she never find us after she was move out. during festival, they will not call us will not meet us and everything. i don't mind this anyway.
there are still alot of things happen. not only this, this few years, when my dad came back from China, we will go to her house, we go there as a guest.. sit down laugh talk ( nonsence) pretending..blabla bla...
if wanted to talk about big family things, it will become a drama story line! you might not believe this will really happen in the real life.
one or two months before this, there are still an arguement, granny called to china scold my dad, my innocent dad....
alright back to the story a few days ago, after my mom talk to my uncle, she told my dad about granny, then my dad called and ask what happen, then we all went to see her .
when i saw her open the door, i feel bad, she was weak, can walk but slowly, i can feel she is older than before. kind of pity..cham......
wednesday when i back home from college, my dad told me she want to follow us back to perak. and tomorrow will stay over night in my house. oh my god! <-- thursday she came to my house, after she came she ask us why don't back to the old house and talk letters? and my mom said we have no key, yes she change the lock. then she tell my mom, i was the one who told her, my mom taken the lock so she change the key. omg!!! i cant remember did i told her my mom talk the lock. but i never said that, in my memory this is not happen!!!!!!!! arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if even u change the lock and you want use to take letter , why don't you give us the key!!! you know you had change and you know you never give us, then why asking us why we din't take the letters?! OMG...... i cant tahan...
we are back to perak and tanjung tualang will have a pasar malam, we bough alot of food,^^ when she bough a pao and fish ball, she just buy 2. never think of my brothers and sisters. when she eat, my brother asking her whats that, but she never give him 1.
last time, she will hide when she eating hotdog breads in the kitchen, well, i really can't understand why! why need to hide? the hotdog breads are cheap , we can affort to buy it, no need to hide when you are eating.
during Chinese new year there are 肉干 in my house。when chinese new year she won't allowed us to eat, but after few months, the food was exprired, she will ask the mate to cook for us...
i cant undertsand, im trying to forgive her,
when i saw her that day in her house, pity ...but yesterday, and what was happen pass few days, i was dissapointed, she is still the same. nothing for me to forget what had happen before. it is too hard. i would really want to ask her, did she recognise my dad as her son? did she recognise us as grand children?