4.10.2009

uncertainties & Risk

I almost forget what had i did for the whole day,
yesterday night, (actly is just now )
i suddenly get a call from J which asking me whether my parents allow me to go out late night.
well,it's too strange because at the moment was 9.15pm
for me of course it is still early but if saying going out that time and having some discussion, then it will be going out until very late isn't!
so i ask what happen, why need to go out so late at night to having a discussion there!? it's just feel weird and don't know what is happening at the moment
i miss out the discussion the day before yesterday, and i feel something like uncomfortable? or should i say unsecured, because things is coming too fast!
i need to know more about what is happening instead of thinking what i need to do next.
im sure some of you will have such thinking when u come to my situation.
may be because i never know who is the person which u guys discuss with or may be i think too much of it. so was just ignore and keep my questions a side.

but just now, calling and going out for discussion, im feeling curious and really " scare" what will happen next to me?
but i can't just let go like that, i need to know more, so i went out to some where around the curve, and before that i told my mom i will going out, actually at that moment im really scare
don't know why this feeling is strong. and my mom refuse it, but i still want to go. I need to clear my question off, so i went . I did informed to my friends and my sister wherever i am and what im doing, haha^^ im scared! this is the first time im doing things like this, im not saying that i never came out late night before but this is the first time i went out to meet stranger who i din't meet before , that's why im scared. to secure myself and my friend i need to tell whoever i trust where am i , and what time i will be back home just incase....(omg im like mad ppl here,ignore me!)
9.35pm im on the way to the place we want to meet.
we wait there for a moment, and finally someone smart came
and he is really smart, this is what came out on my mind when the conversation start.
a person who fully motivated, doing things in a high speed, talented? and clever, smart
it's just like what you guys told me but im still having a lots of question on my mind.
through the discussion i know we reach the same objective, but for now what we actually want is not that high. The main point of our first meeting was being change, it is really mess us up ,...
seriously will get lost when you are really not clear when you having discussion.
slowly , i get what the meaning and what the person want to do, im not saying he can't do it but is really a high risk !
the risk will come directly to us instead of someone else.
like what i had studied in financial and investment, there are a lots of uncertainties and high risk in the future that we can't predict it.
well, i know before this i was saying that, just because everyone scare of the risk and ignore the return thus refuse,
but this is not the same situation as last time. Now the thing is come directly to us but not others, and we have no experience on it definitely.
There are nothing for us to protect ourself !
this is what im taking as my consideration while the discussion still on going.
but i was really happy that someone else are appreciate what we had done so far, thanks for that! it is hard to meet someone who appreciate what you had done before, and now i found one.
at the end, i able to went back home before 12am.safe and sound ^^(i won't do this again)
from the discussion, i get someone who have the power to get what i want, but it is full of "dangerous" am i going to take this down?
i had told my dearest friends about the discussion, and i also told them about what is in my mind.
i said it might be my negative thinking either, but i hope all the things we go through is in the right and safe track. there is no point we trow ourself in a "dangerous" situation.
i might take it down when im ready to do it in the future as in full with experiences.
i analysis the thing clear in my mind during the whole discussion, i want to clear it for my own
i want the thing happen badly but may be not in this way round. i don't want to point to anyone here, im just saying out what im thinking.
end for now, later will going out to watch movie!! haha^^
(i din't realize the time past so fast!!T.T)

2 comments:

Priscillia said...

Gosh, such a long post!!! A bit ambiguos, at first i thought you were dating a guy but you wasn't? Discussion about your assignment or DBSK stuff? Your post make me realize we have been so apart from each other, beh beh too... We seldome meet up nowadays and soon... Is like we will forget each other. Hope this thing will not happen.
Anyways, take care

cassiopeia said...

my dearest pris,
its a job discussion , and don't worry if i have a date with a guy i will definitely tell you and beh!
haha^^
don't feel far away from me,
this im just doing my job on my own stuff which you won't interested on it so i din't tell you about it.
don't worry about our relationship la
we are friends forever mah, the post its just show part of my life now.the other part you all will know me! don't think too much my dear!