5.23.2011

내꿈을 안녕

已经忘了有多久没来。。
今天突然忍不住,想来写写什么。。

在最开心的3个月,我完全没有想来发泄的时候。
不是因为不想记载自己快乐的时候。。
而是更想让记忆永远藏在自己的脑海里

我好像要跟梦想说再见了。。
真的离我越来越远。。至于我已经没办法触碰的境界

最近,有些画面会不停出现在我脑海里。。
去年工作时的一些景象。。
最让我深刻的,当然还是哥三
从我踏上梦想之地,一直认为自己是在做梦般的生活。。
最近,这种想法更加让我觉得不踏实。。
我。。真的去过了吗? 我真的体会过了吗?一切是真的么?
现在也像发梦般的回来。。
我的生活从回来的那一刻是去了所有。。
没有目标。。自己最初的动力,梦想统统不见了
我最担心的事情什么的,全部一一摆在我眼前。。
是的。。我不应该再想为什么我会在这里。。
因为已经改变不了什么。。
所以开始把方向盘转移
不然我真的会疯了。。

到了现在。。好像彻彻底底的拜拜。。
很想做的我做不到
我真的什么办法都想了。。
最后,我还动用了人际关系。。
到头来还是一无所成
所以这几天,某些画面会不停的出现。。
为什么我当时不这样。。为什么不那样
其实,在当下那种情况,我也不停告诫自己。。
不能做出后悔的动作
但是,我没有尝试。。。因为中中关系。。让我不能不把持自己的一举一动

这样看来,其实去年发生在我身上的事情,一切都很不真实
怎么可能会真的踏入自己喜欢的地方
等到后来自己爱不释手的时候。。
再告诉我,这里没有你的容身之地

我应该怎样活下去呢?
上天好像跟我开了一个很大的玩笑。。让我认定目标,也让我彷徨无助

8 comments:

Sam said...

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Akiosu said...

我們人生的過程..就是這樣兜兜轉轉
看似平順卻又崎嶇不堪呢..

對自己的摯愛放手還真痛苦..
那會是暫時性的對吧
總會隨著時間 經歷的增長而有新想法來達成自己的目標對吧

真正考驗我們的..
應該是意志力了.... 共同加油~!!!! >_<

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